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I have been dumped. I am not proud of that fact and quite honestly, it makes me very sad. But now in retrospect, I should have seen it coming. In the last four months, I have gained weight. I have put on about 20 lbs. I was very unhappy at work and I ate to soothe my pain. It didn’t work. The heavier I got, the more I ate. I also started checking out of my relationship. Figuring that my boyfriend of five years would always be with me no matter what, I retreated into myself and did not let him in.
I stopped wanting to go out because my clothes did not fit me. I stopped wanting to have sex because I was embarrassed about how I looked with my clothes off. I stopped being happy with myself and with him. I thought everything would get better in time but it did not. I see now that I did all of the wrong things. I am not saying that my boyfriend was right to break up with me but I can objectively look back and take responsibility for my part in letting our relationship crumble.
Obviously, just because you gain weight, your man should not leave. Agreed. One hundred percent, I concur. But, and this is a big one, it is all of the other junk that goes along with the gaining weight, that will take a toll on your relationship that you need to take responsibility for and you need to change or else your guy will be looking elsewhere.
I was at dinner the other night with my girlfriends. We were talking about what women can do if they have gained weight to make sure they keep their man. It is unhealthy to crash diet and expect to lose 20 lbs in a week. So if you have gained weight and you want to stay in your relationship, here are some realistic things that we have come up with that will keep your other half by your side through thick and thin.
-Exercise. Start by exercising. Walk, run, bike, whatever. Just make sure you break a sweat everyday. In fact, invite your sweetie along. Go play basketball with your man. Do a workout video together. Go for a walk in a park and hold his hand. This is a great way to bond and spend quality time together. Not only will this help you to lose weight but it will make you feel better because your body releases endorphins when you are burning calories. So exercise makes you look great and feel great. This is a no brainer.
-Diet. Watch what you eat. Yeah, yeah. I know. No one likes to hear this but you can do it. I’m not talking a drastic crash diet. All you have to do is start eating less and eating healthier. Pick up a loaf of whole grain bread versus white. Make a healthy pizza at home instead of picking up a greasy one from some chain restaurant. Baby steps. It will go along way.
While the whole “diet and exercising” thing is going on….that’s going to take a few weeks, maybe a few months. If you think your relationship is in serious trouble, here are a few ways to keep your boyfriend occupied mentally while you are busy getting your behind in shape (to take his mind off your weight and onto other things):
Make your man feel like the only guy around. Compliment him. Touch him. Tell him how much you appreciate him. It has been proven that a guy does not cheat on someone because he finds a hotter girl. He cheats because he doesn’t feel appreciated. So girls, nip this in the bud right away. Let your man know he is hot, sexy and you are so very lucky to have him.
Every girl out there knows that there is something that your man really wants you to do. Most of the time this involves something in the bedroom. Use your imagination. Think about something he is always begging you for and as Nike says, “Just do it”. It will make his day. Hell, it will probably make his month. Show him that you are the girl that he should stay with because you can give him what he wants. You’ll be irreplaceable.
No one is happy all of the time but you can be happy 95% of the time. How do you do this? Look on the bright side. Find things that make you happy. People love to be around positive people. Think about when you were first dating. Were you a Negative Nelly? I bet you weren’t. That is the girl that he feel in love with so be that girl again. Show him that you are a happy, fun person that he would be a fool to give up.
I know that sweatpants are comfy. And, you personally, may like granny undies. But I assure you that your man does not. Dress to impress. Dress sexy. The sexier you dress the sexier you will feel. Greet him at the door with thigh highs, heels and nothing else. You will blow his mind. Go out to dinner with him and dress up so that he is proud to show you off. Highlight your assets. Even if you don’t feel sexy, dress like you do. Once you see his eyes bulging out of his head, you will feel your sexy vixen start to come out.
This one is just common sense. If you have put on some pounds and he is letting it slide, then please do the same to him. Do not give him grief about the dishes he leaves in the sink. Look the other way when he leaves his clothes on the floor. I’m not saying that you have to do this forever but right now is not the time to make him feel bad or give him any reason to want to run away from you. Plus, when you start making him happy, he is going to want to make you happy, too.
A little dirty talking goes a long way. This is really exciting for guys. They feel like they have died and gone to their own heaven. You will instantly be 100 times more attractive to them because you are their fantasy come to life (that they don’t have to pay for). Send dirty texts, leave naughty messages, and trust me, you will be the girl of their dreams.
Some of these tips are just temporary fixes. Kinda like if you break a nail before a date and you run to get the superglue so it will stay on for the night. It is not permanent, but it will do in a pinch. So before you can lose the weight you want to, follow the above tricks.
I hope this advice will help you to stay happy in your relationships and hold onto your man. He will love you, if you love yourself. Make him feel like he is king of your world and he will want to stay put. You have more power than you know. You are beautiful and deserve to be loved. Give and you shall receive. Now go find your man, do “the thing” right now and you can thank me for it afterwards.